While every relationship takes work, some definitely come easier than others and this can be seen quite clearly when comparing the natal charts of couples, friends, and family. Often, even when a couple comes to see me and their marriage is on the rocks, I can see precisely what it was that drew them together in the first place, and help remind them of that. This can be enough to get the conversation going in a more productive and positive direction assuming both parties are open to it.

A lot can be learned as well by looking at the Moon signs of each person. Moon is how we are emotionally, how we like our home environment to be, and how nurturing we are. All of these are crucial elements for a long lasting and well fitted relationship. If one person is emotionally distant and needs their space and the other is inclined to want to talk about their feelings at every turn it can be a recipe for a world of emotional hurt. Such a couple may have many other things in common but will very likely be unhappy and get on each other’s nerves with some frequency.

This isn’t to say you can’t work around this energy, especially if you are made aware of it, but it does take work and both parties agreeing to do that work. In addition to the Ascendant, and Sun signs which I have talked about previously, Venus and Mars, as one might expect, play important roles. Venus is the planet of relationships and what we value. In a woman’s chart she shows how we approach relationships and what we expect to get out of them. In a man’s chart Venus shows the type of woman he is looking for…now whether or not she will make him happy is a matter of other aspects…sometimes we can end up wanting what isn’t the best for us…consequences be damned.

The same can be said for Mars in a woman’s chart. Mars is the planet of masculinity, and aggression. In Cancer it can show someone who wants a man to protect them and focus on the home and providing, whereas in Libra fair mindedness and intelligence will be more highly valued. In both men and women Mars shows our sex drive, which is important for compatibility too. If one partner has it in adventurous and polyamourous Gemini and the other in family oriented Cancer this can cause long term conflicts and even lead to cheating unless other factors in the chart come into play.

And for those who are gender fluid or homosexual, all of this still applies, it simply depends on whether you feel more tugged towards masculine or feminine energy.

So the next time someone comes up to you and asks, “Hey baby…what’s your sign.” Ask them which one? Having a compatible inner fire as shown by your Sun sign is super important, but is only one of dozens of things that go into making a healthy relationship. I’ve had couples that have been married 40 plus years come into my office for a couple’s session and walk out with new information about each other. And I’ve also had couples come in and decide to call it quits after finally admitting the problems they may not have wanted to see. Ultimately the choice isn’t up to fate, but up to us as individuals and what it is we are willing to work for.