Let’s get real for a second. You wouldn’t go to a dentist with rotting teeth. You wouldn’t go to a dermatologist with a face full of untreated acne. You wouldn’t trust a financial advisor who is living paycheck to paycheck.

So why, in mental health, do we treat therapists differently?

Clients rarely ask themselves this question: If my therapist doesn’t live by the principles they’re teaching me, why should I listen? And honestly, they should be asking it. Because this double standard in mental health is more than strange — it’s keeping people stuck.

The Double Standard in Therapy

In most professions, credibility comes from walking the walk. If you’re in medicine, people expect you to be healthy. If you’re in finance, people expect you to be financially stable. If you’re in fitness, people expect you to be fit.

But in mental health? For some reason, we’ve normalized therapists being exhausted, burned out, emotionally unavailable, disconnected from their own growth, and sometimes living in direct contradiction to the very things they advise clients to do. It’s not just strange — it’s unacceptable.

And here’s the kicker: clients often accept it. They’ll stay with a therapist who doesn’t embody self-care, who avoids change, who clings to outdated models of therapy — because in this field, the cultural message is that the therapist doesn’t need to evolve.

But that message is toxic. It perpetuates stagnation, both for the professional and the client.

Therapy Isn’t Just About Talking — It’s About Modeling

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: therapists who don’t practice what they preach are doing harm.

If you, as a therapist, are telling your clients to meditate, exercise, set boundaries, or improve their nutrition but you’re not doing any of those things yourself, you’re sending a mixed message. You’re teaching, “Do as I say, not as I do.” And that’s a recipe for mistrust, whether your clients consciously notice it or not.

Clients need to see what mental health looks like when it’s lived. They need to see a therapist who is continually evolving, not just coasting on a degree or a license from ten years ago.

A Call to Action for Therapists

It’s time to raise the standard. Therapists need to stop hiding behind their credentials and start embodying the very transformation they’re guiding others through. This means:

• Doing the work on yourself. Don’t just hand out coping strategies — use them. Daily.

• Living the lifestyle you recommend. If you preach boundaries, keep them. If you encourage self-care, practice it. If you tell clients to face their fears, confront your own.

• Evolving beyond the couch. Stop relying on an office environment to do the heavy lifting of creating rapport. In telehealth, the curtain has been pulled back. Your authenticity (or lack thereof) is front and center.

• Committing to lifelong growth. Therapy isn’t static. Neither should you be. Stay curious, stay challenged, and stop settling.

The Future of Mental Health

Mental health doesn’t move forward when therapists stay stuck. Clients don’t benefit from professionals who are burned out, disconnected, or living in contradiction to their own teachings.

The future of mental health depends on therapists who are bold enough to live the practices they teach — to model resilience, to embody balance, and to walk their talk in every area of life.

Because here’s the bottom line: if you can’t solve your own problems, you’re not equipped to solve someone else’s. And it’s time the mental health profession stopped pretending otherwise.